Loading...This is Donna’s seat. It probably was for all the years she worshiped here, but certainly in the past year and a half, since I arrived here, she sat in this spot, attentive, eye’s bright, and ready to respond, anytime I asked the congregation a question.
She couldn’t easily navigate walking up to receive communion any more, so we brought it to her. Donna would slowly stand, or remain seated, when standing was more difficult, hold out her hand to reverently receive the bread from me, looking me in the eyes before closing them and offering a quiet “amen” on her lips.
Donna knew our liturgy. The order, the rhythm, what needed to be said by her and by the clergy. She was confident and enthusiastic when she worshiped. I sensed that this was a place where she could physically feel the nearness of Jesus. But I suspect she always knew God was never far from her.
She found St. James’ to be a place of blessing in her life. To bless others and to find her own blessings. So much so, that when our Bishop, Terry White, was here for St. James’ Day at the end of July, because of her mobility issues, she had to be held back when he invited anyone to come forward for his blessing.
And while she was likely disappointed in that moment, everything changed when he placed his hands on her head and gave her a blessing after the last note of the organ music faded. Her own private moment with her Bishop. Her opportunity to look him in the eyes with thanksgiving.
That was one of the last times she was able to come to St. James’ to worship with her beloved faith community.
Her friend, Rita, was always willing to pick her up to bring her to church for worship, or to bring her early one Sunday a month to attend the meeting of the Daughters of the King®, a ministry focused on daily prayer and discipleship. A ministry I am confident she fulfilled with commitment and dedication.
We will miss her smile and consistent prayers here.
I’m sure you are going to miss these, too.
However, I hope you find comfort in all the ways she planned for this day. From her desire to use the language of Rite One—the thee’s and thou’s that no longer easily slip off our tongues yet filled her with the nostalgia of Episcopal worship in days gone by; to the hymns we are singing; to the very specific, very short verses from the version of the Bible she preferred, Donna’s message to all of us was clear.
Let me read them again.
From Isaiah:
I am holding you by your right hand—I, the Lord your God—and I say to you, Don’t be afraid; I am here to help you.
Donna knew first that she could always count on God being with her throughout the thick and the thin of her life. I believe she wants you to have that same confidence: that you know there is always a friend to rely on, to turn to, and to trust in the thicks and the thins of your life.
From the Psalm:
The Lord is close to those whose hearts are breaking.
Donna also knew that your hearts just might be breaking a little bit, now that she is no longer bodily present with you. She also knew that throughout anyone’s life, hearts get broken. She, I think, wants you to know that in the moments where grief is at its strongest and you may feel at your weakest, and everywhere else that grief or sadness, pain or despair appears in your life, God abides with you, is with you, never abandoning you.
From the first letter from John:
But if we confess our sins to him, he can be depended on to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.
I think Donna also understood that as humans we are always going to struggle with our behavior. No one is able to live without hurting someone else, or holding a grudge, or breaking some kind of rule or law. But conversely, she knew that when she or anyone goes to God to acknowledge our brokenness, our failures towards others, our human responses, and yes, our sins, she – and we – will be forgiven and given another chance to do better, to be better, to live better.
And from the Gospel:
No, I will not abandon you or leave you as orphans in the storm – I will come to you.
Ultimately, Donna knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God doesn’t leave. Ever. Even when one of us strays from God’s embracing love, when the world is scary or unfriendly, or the literal or figurative storms throughout our lives seem ruthless, God will never leave. She knew that God’s love was immense, all encompassing, and never-failing. She understood that God, the Creator of all things, created you and loves you, no matter what.
She knew her Creator, her Friend, and her Comforter. She knew God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. And she wants you to trust that she is now with them, abiding with them, with joy filling her soul.
I have a feeling that while the short verses she chose were personally transformative to her, she hoped that you, as you heard them today, would find the depth of God’s love for you. That you, as she, could know God deeply and intimately in your own lives.
In her last days, Donna told her family that she was seeing Jesus and was excited to be able to go to him. I don’t know about you, but for me, her strong desire to be with Jesus, and the idea that that is exactly where she is brings me so much joy.
She wants you to remember her with joy.
Oh, one more thing she wants you to know. She, like God, loves you. Abundantly.
Amen.
