Loading...When my middle aged friend told me she was pregnant, so many thoughts went through my head that I was speechless. My heart leaped for joy, while my mind thought: ‘she’s gonna need a sister.’ All I could do was hug her and pledge that I would dig the old baby sling out of the back of my closet and happily strap the infant to myself whenever she needed help. What is easier to manage than a newborn — as long as you aren’t the one who takes the night shift!
I remember those days of anticipation, wondering, waiting. When I was expecting, I couldn’t wait to hold my babies. It sounds funny because there is no closer relationship than that of a mother and babe in the womb. I just wanted to see their faces and hold their tiny hands. And as much work as, it is one of my favorite memories is bath time. Putting Joseph in a mixing bowl in the kitchen sink and later the bathtub, playing with rubber duckies and watching both Aidan and Joseph splash and giggle. It was magical.
Parenthood is also enough work to make a zombie out of even the most efficient and prepared person. There are just days when the laundry, doctor’s visits, work and family and friends all collide to create a puffy sack of exhaustion out of otherwise normal humans. I have this vague but amusing memory of being a young two-child family: A photographer came to take our photo for a book featuring local family attractions. Aidan was two-and-a-half. Joseph was three weeks old. She showed up about 6 pm at night and sat us on the couch to set up the shot. She took one look through the lens, put the camera down, and promised she would come back before she hastily exited. She never came back. I don’t blame her. Giving birth to any creative endeavor is as invigorating as it is exhausting.
There are so many moving parts to raising children. For me, the essential part has been sisters who came over, looked through the lens, and stayed. They folded laundry, cooked casseroles, managed the toddler while the baby slept. Managed the baby while the toddler needed management.
There’s a story about the three weeks Aidan was excused from the church nursery because he bit his best friend Lucas. On the face. The day before their family portrait was to be taken. I’m not gonna tell that story. And then there are the many times I would look up from the altar into the congregation and think, whose child is naked to the diaper. Mine of course. It was ok. My sisters came alongside for me and for my sons. So while I won’t tell you all the stories, I will say a prayer of thanks for Laurie, Marty, Charlotte, Amy, Daisy, Marianna and of course Josie who just showed up at the exact moment when this new mom needed a sister.
I don’t know if brotherhood works this way for you men. You’ll let me know won’t you? The thing about sisterhood is that even if you didn’t know one another when your kids were born, there’s an unspoken bond between those who have raised a baby. Here’s a prayer of thanks to all women of St James who came alongside me when I arrived at St James. What an amazingly creative endeavor it is to welcome a new priest into a congregation.
We don’t know exactly how Mary and Elizabeth were related. Were they sisters, cousins, Auntie and niece? I do know that I count every friend who came alongside me as a kinswoman. And what makes the story Luke tells more homey is the way Mary describes the fulfillment of God’s promise to a man coming from the experience of two women. Salvation is a family affair. Ridiculous. Families are the least efficient unit for accomplishing any undertaking.
My sister-in-law Meredith is the most sensible person I know. She summarizes the way families operate best when she says, “Before I had kids I would see one shoe on the highway and think, ‘how does a person lose one shoe?’ Now that I have kids I think, “how are there not shoes all over the highway?”
Imagine that I put all the power of the universe into your hands. You are free to treat the universe any way you desire. You possess all things necessary to save a world in need of saving. Or not. You have every resource at your disposal. You could fulfill your heart’s desire. What is that desire? What materials will you choose to fulfill your desire?
I might use a computer expert or my friend who graduated from War College. For sure I would only hire single adults who would make great additions to a think tank of experts — they are not preoccupied with stain removal and don’t have to rush home because the babysitter has a curfew. But God doesn’t think efficiently like I like to. To fulfill God’s desires God uses the material created on the penultimate day of creation; dust and mist filled with breath. Two women and their families. What makes it less efficient is that one has an old husband and the other has a husband coping with fidelity questions and security concerns. Messy.
Arguably the most beautiful and the most sung song in the world is born where two women are joined in the creative mission of God, the Magnificat. They didn’t sit down and decide they were going to write a hit song, or start a revolution to conquer sin and death. They just came alongside one another as sisters who said “come what may I will be there for you and for your baby. I will strap your heart to mine wherever you may need me.”
Where you see sisters or brothers like that you are seeing God’s work of salvation happening for all people. If you were born from a human mother, meaning you are not a robot, you are one of the moving parts that make up God’s redeeming mission.
